Intro “Merry Christmas… truly. How am I doing? Oh, I’m fantastic. The real question is—how are you? ’Cause the math isn’t mathing this year. Someone messed up… I’m not saying names— I’m just… looking around the room.” Verse 1 I’m sitting by the fire, just taking it in, Scanning every face for a guilty little grin. Wasn’t me—my slate’s crystal clean, But someone in this circle been acting obscene. Was it him? Was it her? Was it you in the back? There’s a massive missing piece in the family track. I’m not pointing fingers, I’m just holding the light, On the mess you tried sweeping under rugs tonight. Verse 2 So Auntie, how’s your son? Did he pay that debt yet? I heard it’s pretty huge—the kind of thing you’d regret. I hope he didn’t get blacklisted, keeping it low, But we all know he’s the one with nowhere left to go. Hard to play the victim when you’re losing all the dough, And the family tree’s embarrassed just to see him grow. He’s the outcast of the crew, the one you try to hide, While he’s drowning in the secrets that he’s keeping inside. And the daughter-in-law—she celebrating too? With her first child? Oh—wait, let me zoom the view… Right. Left that baby clean out the frame, When she married into this “perfect” family name. Chorus Merry Christmas, hope you’re feeling the cheer, Despite all the chaos you caused this year. I’m not the judge, not the jury, just the host, Passing you the butter while I give you a roast. Yeah, we know who it is. (I think we all know who it is.) Verse 3 Oh—how rude of me, I didn’t ask how your niece been. Still tasting the drama she keeps seasoning? Married to that toxic guy—guess she had no choice, After her dad caught them cold and she lost her voice. Hope it’s happily ever after! And how’s her dad? Praying he’s healthy, ‘cause that lifestyle’s sad. Hope he’s playing it safe, dodging STDs, With all those “ladies” he buys weekly—please. Bridge What? Why you looking at me like that? I’m just joking! Why so serious? Why so flat? Did I press a wrong button? Did I hit a nerve? Or did I give you exactly the truth you deserve? You see I’m not afraid to burn bridges, especially with rats, I’ll light the match myself, leave the past where it’s at. Excuse my language, I know it’s the season of grace, But peace tastes better once I clear out the space. Anyway... have a Merry Christmas! Hope the year is a show! Outro You look a little tense. Is the sweater too tight— Or is it the conscience? Don’t mind me though, I’m just here for the “Christmas spirit” part. But we know. Yeah… we definitely know. Merry Christmas, “Santa.”